How to Cooperate in Raising the Children After Divorce

Bottom-line, in order for your child to cope with the process of divorce, it requires cooperation between you and the other parent.  Cooperation means:

  • establish a parenting plan which gives access to both parents
  • parents keep ongoing contact with the children so they don’t feel rejected or abandoned
  • parents prepare the children prior to the separation, if possible
  • parents reassure children they can still count on both of them
  • take the parenting plan seriously
  • make the rule, you will not disappoint the child at the last minute
  • seldom cancel plans with your children if it can be helped
  • children need two homes established where they can have a place for their clothes, toys, and possessions
  • maintain limited telephone contact with the children (be careful this doesn’t make child feel they should be concerned about your well-being)
  • provide the children telephone access to both parents when necessary
  • have the children ready on time for the other parent
  • be prepared to receive the children on time
  • be courteous and call the other parent when delays are unavoidable
  • create “protocol” when discussions need to take place between parents when serious issues arise concerning the children


Source:  Bienefeld, F., Williams, F.  Helping Your Child Through Your Divorce.  (1995).  Hunter House, Inc., Alameda, CA

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